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I just cleared off my favorite journals list besides 4 people.



I don't really like reading journals unless I am pointed out to read it. It is better I just stick to myself. It makes things a lot easier on me in the long run.



I don't want to know. I just want to have fun, have reasons to smile and enjoy laughing with people.



I have to many things in my head that are serious.. I don't want to have to deal with it on here too.



What's the point of enjoying time and having an escape if you can't USE it?

I feel the sudden urge.. to just..



Lay down and throw the biggest fuckin' hissy fit.

Like arms swinging about, body twitchin, legs kickin'. Yeah a BIG ONE.



Why.. I dunno.



I just feel like I needa throw one.

If you cry any harder...



You're gunna fuckin' flood us outta here.



Christ.



It'll be like the second coming of Ike with evern more blowing because.. well.. you just do.

I redid my profile tonight.



It's girly and pretty.



It's happy.



I .. on the other hand.. am still pissy.

So..



meh.

In the grand scheme of things..



The little things are pretty much nothing.

The things that happen here.. Nothing.

The Internet... nothing.



It's something we do to pass the time.

Or to get involved in to take our mind off the everyday stresses of life.



If you chooses to stress over things that are trivial, such as the the small petty things that happen on the site, well then you aren't looking at the big picture. When those things start to flow into your REAL life.. and take a toll on it, then stress about it.



Don't screw over friendships you have made because of small petty things that don't matter.

It's. a. website.

It's. not. life.



I think more people need to step back and get in touch with themselves and their friends besides just living for the things that mean nothing.



If it effects you in real life.. or drifts onto other places that you enjoy.. then yes, be angry. Be mad. But don't let it take a toll on those you friend.



I've been angry lately.

Numerous reasons for this. It's just probably a time where I need to be cranky. I can tell you this, it's not over the small things that mean nothing on here.



Am I being hypocritical because of things I've said before? You know, I might be and I am totally fine with that. Because at least I know when to step back and not let the stupid stuff take a toll on me and my friendships. I know when to step back and look into life.



I am fine with being a hypocrite.

At least I admit it.



Admitting it is one thing, denying it, is something else.

Wow.. SOMETHIN.. has got to give.



I am hateful AGAIN today.



-beats babies in a bag with a crowbar-

I.. just couldn't help it.

I had to take these pics.

It was such a great pose

and my puss was was feelin' the need to work it.

So.. I grabbed my camera.

got into position and started to snap.



Here is my puss puss...





Isn't he CUTE!

I just got a call asking to speak to that fat bitch that stole all that money from me.



It has been WELL over a year since I've seen her or even TALKED to her.



I am sure you are still friends with her. So you can tell her if she doesn't stop giving my fucking number out claiming that she lives here, there will be fucking problems.



I was done along time ago.

I was even DONE when she was still living in my home while I was be stolen from. But, Nooo... she managed to fuck with my head and LIE to me straight face.. so I took PITY on her. .



Fuckin pathetic cunt.

I hope she fuckin' rots.

I hope everything around her FAILS.

SHE is Fail.

She's a poor excuse for a human.

I am stating this to put it out there, since I am sure some people are unaware of my actions, the way I am or for that matter how I go about things.



I might pop off at the mouth in here. I might say things directed at some people, but I rarely EVER name names. I do this for a numerous reasons. Because if they read it, I am sure they will know it’s directed at them.



Also because even though I am a Dominar, I am HUMAN; I have emotions. I am not just some machine that sits here and takes care of things on VR. I have things that make me angry, upset me, make me sad or make me laugh. I choose to share these emotions to humanize me. I choose to NOT share the name because of the issues that could arise from it.



If I DO name a name, you better damn well believe I have justifiable cause for it. I am not one to have some halved ass reason to just throw names out to start issues. I am not one to act irrational about things. Especially about my likes and dislikes for people.



I try very hard to keep my likes and dislikes for people hidden, unless dealing with them in private. I will deal with someone if it is ‘VR’ related. After that, I am done. I do not wish to chit chat, I wish to just get it done and be on our ways. My personal opinion does not affect my ‘duty’.



I have thought about my actions for a long time before stepping out and doing them. But enough is enough. I am done and over it acting as thought I enjoy receiving the scat end of the deal. I can only take it for so long and then, I refuse to hold back any longer.



I am not ashamed at all. I do not feel any remorse. I do not take back anything I’ve said or done anyplace on VR within these past two days.



I feel quite the opposite. I feel as though a burden has been lifted from me; burdens of playing nicey nicey while watching IT act as though they are something more important than what they really are.



I’m done and over it.



It’s a Cunt.

It always will be a Cunt.

And it will die a Cunt.

This will be the Cunt Punters Theme Song.



Acting like a cunt, that's old

Let me see you Cunt Punters roll



Come on, Cunt Punters Roll, just take your foot and bowl.

Here we go, Pull back and throw, yeah, let me see you Cunt Punters roll

Let me see those Cunt Punters Roll.

Get out your steel toe boots and kick that cunt and bowl



(Chorus 2)

To the cunt, to the cunt, in the font, in the front

To the cunt, to the cunt, in the font, in the front

Now just kick just kick baby kick just kick



Cunt punters get on your roll, and kick these cunts so they blow

Let me see Those Cunt Punters Roll

I don't know what you've been told

We aint the welcome wagon ho, this is how the cunt punters roll.

A brand group

We know we won’t be adored

But in times like these, we’ll drop you cunts to the floor

Get to that kick a little bit

Oh yeah, we’ve got it, no bullshit, baby, no bullshit about it

And you over here with your cuntin’ a flair

Keep pumpin' that cuntin’ 'cause we’ll kick it hard

Just a brand new group for 2008

VR is the place to be, RETARDS, is what we came to see



(Chorus 4)

I feel a whoop, ass, a whoop, ass

Say what, I feel a whoop, ass, a whoop, ass

Uhm huh that’s right.. this is how we roll

We’ll kick you in your cunt and make it good to go

As I have been saying, I've been making a webpage. I put on there an 'about me' section.





HERE



I opened up Word and just wrote.. and it felt good. So, I thought I'd put it in here for personal reflection and the joys of a read.



After putting this up, it will be done. :)



____________________







The ‘About Me’ is a death wish within itself. Either some people feel as though they need to be the entertainment and embellish who they really are. I won’t embellish, I won’t bore you with the insignificant details of my life. I will be real and tell you the things that make me tick.



I will warn you now, you might find this rather boring; if you don’t, then our ideas of boring are very different. Is this a bad thing? No, it’s not. It just shows that we have our own person and our difference in opinion makes things more interesting. Now on to the About section of my webpage.



I am not some run way model, some one that has earned herself numerous awards of the course of her lifetime, or someone that should anyways be within the spot light that so many achieve to be in. I am just your everyday normal girl trying to survive in a world that makes me question numerous things on a daily basis.



I was born to two wonderful parents; parents that have taught me so much in life. I am still learning from my father since I still reside with him. I do this for many reasons. My main reason I’ll tell you about shortly. The other reasons, well, because in this world he is alone in many ways. I fear the day I leave and he is not able to function like a normal person. No, my dad is not mentally unstable. I do feel as though my dad lives in a world of depression and a constant state of ‘youth’ mentality. A soft hearted man with a temper like wildfire, he is my strength most days. I dread his passing when it happens. I choose to live within the sea denial and say my dad is immortal. It gets me through the days.



My mom left this earth at an early age; the age of 42. Because of this it has instilled numerous fears in me. Ones I am sure I will never get past; the others I refuse to get over. Either way I will live with them. A strong vibrant woman with a passion for life, a passion for family and a passion to be happy should never be taken at the age she was, but alas, the reaper came and enticed her away with promises of no pain and suffering. When my mom passed, it was horrible. I’ll never forget and never forgive those that caused it. I don’t care what they say, the hospital killed my mom. For that, I despise anyone who walks the floors of that place and the life they took from me.



As you can see the above has left me with mental issues that will go uncured until the day I am being called into the light where hopefully she will open her arms and hug me once again.



I am just your average everyday person. Well, in some senses. The box that I think in is quite large. I think inside it, outside it and all around it. Because of this, I can find humor in many things. Things that can make grown people weep and the strong of hearts cringe. I do this because it hurts less. And when things are bad, laughter can be the only thing that keeps you sane. I like to think I am sane, but lately, that might be a debatable fight. Either way, I am perfectly me.



I have trust issues to say the least. Friendships for me are hard to come by; mostly because I have the attention span of a cracked out child with a.d.h.d. Well, I can’t say that is mostly the reason. I’ve been gifted with special things; a couple is being able to see most for what they really are. This can happen within the first 5 minutes of meeting them. I might be wrong at the moment, but further on down the road my intuition is dead on. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I now have friends that I have been longing to have since the day I knew what a friend was. Thank you. Without you, I would have drowned within the sea of loneliness a long time ago.



There are sometimes when that intuition has just decided to take a nap. This last time, it cost me about 20 grand and a lifetime of pain and torment. Bitch.

The inner me is a puzzle. The outer me is a constant struggle. As I said before, there are reasons why I still live with my father. For most of my teenage life, I’ve struggled with back pain. After having a blood clot in my legs, due to circumstances that I will not share..heh.., I found myself at the grand age of 26 getting cut open from the middle of my back to the top of my butt. Arthritis and calcium built up on my spine and nerves to press them so much, they decided to just not work. So here I am a few years lately with problems and waiting for the time to pass where I am once again the way I was. I am not sure if I will ever be fully the person I was, but I hope every day.



I don’t want sympathy; I don’t want to be coddled. This is the way my story was written and I am dealing with it. Having those two things thrown at me, makes me ill. I survive because of my strength, not because I need or want those from others.



From the situation that have happened above, and even the ones above the previous, they have deepened my fears and made me anti-social in many senses. Because they made me semi-anti-social I spend a lot of my time with my nose in books and being alone. Expanding my mind and reading for enjoyment is my get away. They have also pushed me to seek answers that some fear. I mean death and the other side. I investigate paranormal and enjoy going to old cemeteries. They fascinate me, the history, the feelings, everything about them. I need answers, I want answers, and I need to be okay for the journey to come.





I think that this should give you a taste of who I am and some of the struggles that I have trudged through in life and concurred. This is barely a scratch on the surface of me. Even though this is a pretty serious “about” me, I find my humor to be one of the best things about be.



Thank you for stopping and reading.

Enjoy your life and the paths it takes you on and always remember life is full of lessons. Each day is a learning and growing experience for new things to come. Maybe each footfall bring you peace, serenity and a life well lived.



-Elaine

This is just one of those priceless convos that just HAVE to be shared.



Tracye : did joo see the "eye" entry?? lao



Lainey Pie: lol reading now



Lainey Pie: is it a stye?



Tracye : i dunno maybe ??



Tracye : theres not a "knot" in it . like a sty does.. but it may just not have come to a head yet



Lainey Pie: warm teabags make a stye feel better.. and I don't mean warm balls on your face.



Tracye : shoulda kept muh glasses on huh ? lmfaoooooo



Tracye : LNFAOOOOOOOOOOOO!



Tracye : i FUCKING LOVE YOU hahhahahahaha



Lainey Pie: -bats eyelashes-



Tracye : that still may be whut got me into this mess lmfao



Tracye Williams: hahahahhahaha



Lainey Pie: LMAO I am sure it did.. course.. a spunk could have clogged a lash duct and make it swell.. in either case.. you need a good teabag to the eye.



Tracye : *falls offa the bed*



Tracye : hhhhhhhhhhhahahahah









At least she was falling OFF the bed this time.. because I am sure falling ON the bed is also another reason why she has a puffy eye. >:)

My eyes.. are going to cross I swear.



So far.. my page is coming along really well. I'm happy with it. This one makes my old one look like a kindergarten mess. haha Course.. it was :|



Must.. work.. almost.. done..

I am thinking about making a new website. I deleted my old one because.. I hated it.



I want to make something.. better.



I have an idea.

Now it's just thinking it out and putting it all down.

I depise Linksys routers. With. A. Passion.



My net keeps kickin' on and off. I thought it was the cable, but it is the router itself. It seems that from what I have been reading this type of router only lasts for a year and a half and then.. kaput.



I first had a d-link. THAT was also horrible.



I need to find a good router. If not.. I have a feeling this one will be kissing the wall soon. :|

I.. have to admit it. I can't deny it any longer. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. I love it. I always want to share.



I'm a deviantart whore. -gasp-





I love doing EVERYTHING.. okay.. maybe not everything, but I just love art in general.



I.. totally dig it there.



And... my favorite part.. they have a fetish section. I like to do themed 'fetish' stuff.





-giggles like a school girl-